Being in front of the camera is not for the faint-hearted

Being in front of the camera is not for the faint-hearted. It’s an exercise in surrender and self-acceptance.

It turns you inside out, pummels and hammers you, wrings you out and hangs you out to dry. Basically, a spirit’s washing machine.

The camera forces you to face yourself, with all your fears, uncertainties and shortcomings. 

And yet, I encourage you to give it a shot. Put yourself in front of a camera and hit record button. If you want your business to grow. Or if you are simply looking for a free personal-development workshop. Results guaranteed.

Years ago I have started playing with an idea of making video. “One day", I would tell myself, “someday”. The voice inside kept on nagging - “Just do it, already”. The mind was resisting, citing wrong timing, bad hair days, and unfavorable weather conditions.

In the fall of last year, while going through my inbox, I accidentally clicked on a newsletter advertising a vlogging 6 week course. “It’s a sign”, the inner voice hollered. I enrolled just to shut it up.

The course was great and I highly recommend it to anyone looking to learn foundations of vlogging. As course participants, we were encouraged to make daily videos. That’s how “Barking Design Rap” came to be. We can’t do anything “normal” around here. And since I was already gung-ho about overcoming the fear of being on camera, I added another one to the mix - public singing.

Making videos for the vlogging course was one of the most difficult and but cathartic things I have done. Standing in our backyard in chilly November weather, while facing my old iPhone camera, I was really facing my past. That time when I was a kid when a family member refused to photograph me citing my absolute unphotogenicity. All the times when I was told that being brainy was my saving grace since I completely missed out in the looks department. The time when I watched a friend perform in a school play which made me utterly and completely depressed for weeks afterwards. I knew I did not have the guts to go for an audition or even admit to having such fallacy of an idea.

I had to face myself, my past, my illogical fears and insecurities. And they can look a lot scarier that any of the internet trolls or hecklers you might encounter.

The camera taught me that I have to name and claim my desires.

The world won’t knock at your door, eager to crown you and present you with whatever your little heart desires. You have to go out there and take it. Ok, maybe not like a crude barbarian. Maybe with all the grace, elegance and tact of an introverted brainy girl that only you posses. But you will have to go out there and take it anyway.

Want to be on stage? Claim it.

Want to speak and be heard? Raise your voice and speak up.

Want a business you are proud of, the one that supports you and makes life worth living? Then take all the excuses, all “I wish I could”s and all “I know but”s and show them the door.

It will be scary. It will be overwhelming. You will most likely fail and make a fool of yourself more than one. 

The choice is yours. Will you let fears hold you back? Or will you follow whats inside of you? Your heart? Your inner knowing? Your higher self?

And when you think about those few internet trolls that will laugh, point finger, and tell you your ideas are dumb and you are only wasting the internet bandwidth (or whatever it is that trolls are saying to bring your spirit down), think about those 10’s, 100’s or maybe even 1000000’s who will be inspired by you, by your energy, your words, or even your presence. Think about the ones that will tell themselves, “If she can, so can I”. Think about the ones that might even transform their lives, stepping into reality that wasn’t yet available for them yesterday. 

Are you playing with an idea of finally making that video? Does a little voice in your head warn you about your hair not being right, or the weather, or the state of the world? Tell it to shut the f up. And if you are afraid, do it anyway, because tomorrow will always get better.